Bring on the Gym!

I’m happy to report that Abigail is feeling much better. She’s gone to school today because her class are starting this ‘Forest School’ thing at a local farm and she really didn’t want to miss it. She went off this with her welly boots on and her backpack with her lunch in. She looked like a proper little explorer! Bless!

 I’ve just been to see my brother and I have to say things still aren’t looking great. He’s had a liver biopsy cos they think there’s  ‘something’ on his liver pushing on his other organs (?), they did a chest x-ray and found ‘something’ on his lung so he’s having a bronchoscopy and he needs an endoscopy cos he keeps throwing up blood. Not good signs I don’t think! My managers now got the face on with me cos I was out for 20 minutes! It’d be different if it were one of her family in the hospital though! It really irritates me, there’s one rule for some and another for others! I’m making my time up for leaving early/coming in late while Abigail was ill, what more do they want? 

I feeling slightly calmer about all that kicked off at the weekend with the on/off fella (who, from now on he will be known as twat hoop), although I think that might be cos I’ve now got other things to worry about with my brother. I’ve decided (following a chat with Chelle – thanks for the advice!) that if I see twat hoop in the gym tonight, I’ll just blank him, rather than kicking off and causing a scene, cos if I do, it’ll give his ego a boost and he’ll think I’m bothered about him… and to be perfectly honest I’m not… It’s my pride that’s hurt more than anything! I still didn’t sleep last night though… I did have some tea at mum’s last night though so at least I’ve eaten a little! So I’m going to go to the gym tonight with Chelle and I plan to vent all my anger and frustration out in the form of exercise! We’re planning to be in there at least an hour! Bring It On!! 

As if I haven’t got enough ‘excitement’ in my life at the moment, Abigail’s Dad rang me at silly o’clock last night… to tell me how in love he is!! Yeah, and?? He also wanted to tell me that he’d told the new bint about Abigail and she’s fine with it… again and?? Why I needed to know those exciting nuggets of information I’m not totally sure… So he got told to f**k right off! I said I wasn’t interested in listening to him at the best of times, never mind after the week I’ve had!! 

Catch ya later X x X x X

Just when you think things can’t get any worse – they do!

I’ve had Abigail back at the Dr’s this morning, and she’s up to her eyeballs with infection – again. Her tonsils and ears are both infected so she’s back on the antibiotics, it’s only a fortnight since she had the last lot. I’m sure all these antibiotics can’t be doing her any good. I keep trying to get my GP to refer her to ENT but they say she’s too young. I don’t know what else to do. I hate seeing her ill, she was up all night last night crying with the pain in her ears! I’ve come to work today, but cos I left early yesterday and got in late this morning I’ve got to make my time up, meaning I’m going to be at work 9 hours a day for the rest of the week! Mint!

 Just when I thought this week couldn’t get any worse… I’m proved wrong. I got back from a meeting this afternoon to a message from one of the wards. It turns out my Brother (who I haven’t seen for two years, since he stole from me) has been admitted. I went to see him, and honestly, I don’t think it’s looking good. His liver isn’t working right, he’s got problems with respiratory and stomach problems. He’s been drinking really heavily for years though so it’s hardly a surprise, but he’s only 29 and he’s drinking himself to death. I don’t know how I feel about it all really, even after everything he’s done he’s still my brother and it upsets me. I know I could’ve done without this on top of everything else this week… I know that sounds selfish but I really don’t know if I can cope with much more shit! I’m not sleeping, I can’t stomach food, it makes me feel sick just thinking about eating…. I hate feeling like this but I don’t know what to do for the best.  

On a more positive and exciting note… Take That tickets go on sale on Friday and hopefully we’ll get some and be going! Yay!! 

Catch Ya Later X x X x X

Still on the warpath!

By now, I would expect to be calming down a little following all that kicked off at the weekend… but I’m not! I’m not gonna keep banging on about it though, that’s not why I’m blogging again today! 

In all the madness I forgot (again) Liverpool won 4-0 against Sheffield Utd on Saturday, what a result! Sheff Utd were playing a little dirty though. Poor Peter Crouch (I quite like him) suffered a broken nose and needed 11 stitches after one of their players’ foot collided with his head ‘accidentally’ So Liverpool got a penalty for that and another penalty a bit later on both of which were put away by Robbie Fowler, then Gerrard and Hyypia scored as well!  

I had to leave work early today because Abigail was sent home from school ill. She wasn’t 100% when I sent her this morning, but when I’d told her that if she stayed at home she wouldn’t be playing or anything she decided she’d rather go to school! But the teacher said she got worse as the day got on and she’s got a dodgy rash on her tummy so I’ve got her in at the Dr’s tomorrow morning! 

When I picked Abigail up I saw Jodie so she came up to my house for a few hours, had a cup of tea with me and listened to me moaning about my troubles! She was so angry when I told her what that twat had done! Mind you, everyone has been really angry about it! If there’s one good thing that’s come out of this, it’s reiterated that I’ve got a great bunch of friends round me. Even my Mum’s been uber concerned, she’s cooking my tea tomorrow night cos she’s worried that I’m not eating! Mum has been very apologetic about everything since Sue told her how much she upset me! 

Me and Chelle have decided we’re going to the Gym Wednesday and Thursday which I’m fully looking forward to, I can vent some of my frustration there. Also considering twat-knacker goes to the gym and the slag he’d arranged to meet works there, it could be quite interesting!  Anyway… Catch ya later X x X x X

It’s done… I’m on the warpath

Oh, it’s all over with the on/off fella. Following my disillusion after he’d left yesterday I then find out that the reason he was in the village club was to meet (or whatever) this other girl from the village… only when that didn’t pan out did he turn up on my doorstep. I don’t think so somehow. I’m not being second option to anybody, never mind some slag!! So now, every nosey twat in the village knows that he came up to meet her and also that he ended up at my house…. How good does that make me look!?!? Mint! So I text him yesterday and just said ‘we done’. Not only that, but the woman next door has been in the club yesterday calling me everything from a pig to a dog cos her husband was at my house the night before. Now, considering that I didn’t invite him round, I was in bed when he turned up on my door and I told him to go home when I saw him how is that my fault?? Why am I taking the blame because he’d rather be anywhere than at home?? He’d already been to someone elses house on the street!! So I can see that there’s gonna be fighting and blood shed on Recreation Road!

 I’m so angry it’s untrue. I could literally kill someone. I went to our Sue’s yesterday afternoon (cos Abigail was out with mum) and we just got wrecked!! I could’ve cried yesterday I was so angry.  I felt like crawling into a hole and staying there yesterday but I’ve decided I’m better than all them twats and I’ve picked myself up and I’m battling on… Somebody’s got it coming though…  there will be payback!! I’ll be in Rampton soon!

Why did I think the happiness would last?

I’m feeling very disillusioned about things with the on/off fella now. I know this is a slight change of opinion from this time last week when I couldn’t stop smiling and gushing about how happy I was (how silly of me to think that would last). We were texting yesterday afternoon and he said he might come round last night, which I was very exciting about, but then he text me and said that his mate had text him to go out so he wouldn’t be coming. Even though I was slightly disappointed, I thought it was fair enough ya know, he had been at my house the night before so it wasn’t like I hadn’t seen him. Anyway, I was settling in for a quiet night watching TV and enjoying my Chinese as originally planned when Sue came up for a drink. So we had a drink and a chat, then her hubby text her and said my ‘fella’ was in the village club. How odd I thought to myself? I text him to see if he was in the club but he never replied. As soon as I confirmed with Sue’s husband that he was in fact in the club, I was half expecting him turning up at mine when he’d been out. So not one to disappoint I get a text at 1.30 am saying he’s next door (cos the sexy bloke next door is his mate) which I ignored, then at 2.15 am he’s knocking on the door. I let him in (against my better judgment) and the sexy bloke from next door came for a drink too. All’s well at this point – well more or less. Then next door bloke starts telling me that the fella has been talking about me all night and doing his head in, and he said to the fella, ‘why don’t you two just get together properly’ to which the fella replies ‘I can’t settle down, I ant got it in me, she knows that’. So that shattered any dreams of anything more developing between us. Anyway, the sexy bloke from next door’s wife then banged on the window, obviously slightly pissed off that her husband wasn’t home at 2.30 in the morning so he tootled off. The fella then falls asleep on the sofa, I tried to wake him up and get him to go to bed but he wasn’t having none of it so he slept on the sofa all night! Well til about 7 this morning anyway. I don’t know why but he’s doing my head in a little now. I think he knows he’s pissed my off as well. Combine this with the fact that I ‘discovered’ that my mobile number is not stored under my name in his phone… and what it is stored under isn’t particularly respectful and I think I’ve had enough. I’m not gonna sit here and say that I won’t ever see him again cos chances are I probably will, but I give up trying to chase him and tie him down when it clearly isn’t going to happen. I hope I start feeling a little better about stuff soon cos I feel really depressed again at the minute, and not just about this, about life, it just seems like everything is so f**king difficult all the time. 

On a more cheery note, the CD player is fitted in the car – Woo Hoo, finally!! It’s sooo cool! And also, I was supposed to be going to my Uncle’s for dinner today but I got out of it, and not only that, Mum’s took Abigail with her cos she’s feeling guilty for upsetting me Friday! So I’ve got the afternoon to myself now….. Might just go and drink myself into oblivion. 

Catch ya later.

Parents and Blokes

Remember I was having the day from hell yesterday with forgetting Abigail’s shoes and everything, well I’d like to be able to say that things got better, but they didn’t! At 3.20 pm I was still at work and had got to stay til at least 4 because I had time to make up from going home to get Abigail’s shoes! So, Mum rings me having a go because Abigail was crying outside school, quite what she thought I could do from work, I don’t know. She’s shouting saying I can’t go to the gym blah blah blah then slams the phone down on me. So I text her and say I can’t leave work as I’d got time to make up and even if I wasn’t going to the gym I would still need to take Chelle home as she’d not got the car with her or anything. So she rings me (again) and says it’s alright now, Abigail had calmed down (not 5 minutes after the original call) and I was ok to go to the gym but we would have to look at alternative arrangements cos she can’t cope! So this upsets me at work and I end up crying in the toilet! So I went to the gym… which was fab even though we didn’t stay long (but we plan to hit it hard next week). I got to my mum’s and I explained that the only alternative to her having Abigail is for me to get her into a nursery/child minder that’d take her to and collect her from school, but mum says she don’t want that?!?! So what am I supposed to do?? So I think I’m gonna ring the nursery place near us next week and get her in there cos this is not the first time it’s happened. I mean Abigail was only at Mum’s two days this week!! So I was very upset by the time I’d finally got home, pulled on the drive and found that I’d lost my house keys (possibly left them at work) so I went to Sue’s for the spare and ended up crying all over her! I know it’s not the end of the world that Mum won’t have her and there are ways and means round it, but it upsets my cos Abigail hasn’t got that much family that see her anyway so she can’t afford to lose what she has got and I think that’s what’s happening with my mum. 

On a more positive note… Andy (Sue’s husband) took Abigail and the kids out more or less as soon as I got in so I had time to myself to get ready (during which time I drank nearly a full bottle of wine and was starting to feel better) then me and Sue went to the club for a drink before mum’s bloke picked us up to go for the meal. I was a little worried that it wouldn’t be a good night with all the poop that had kicked off with mum earlier, but nothing was said about it and all in all I had a good night… I was absolutely wrecked though. The food was absolutely divine! So I got home at about midnight and text the on/off fella (shocking I know). He text me back and said he was working til 5 am so I was a little gutted and tootled off to bed. Then at about 1.20 am he text me and said he could be at my house for 2 am cos he was finishing early! I was of course very pleased! He got to mine for about 1.50 am. I was very happy cos normally if things look like they’re getting too serious between us he backs away for a bit so I wasn’t expecting to hear from him for a few days after what was said last week. So that cheered me up no end. We had a fantastic night as always but he did have to leave early this morning cos he was meeting my sexy next door neighbour at the gym cos they’re training or summat!  

Today, of course, I’m going back to Halfords to finally have the CD Player fitted and I’ve got the food shopping to do – oh the excitement! Nothing planned for tonight, maybe just have a quiet night in, in front of the TV. Might even have a Chinese tonight since I didn’t get one last night! 

I think I’ve rattled on a little so I’ll be off now… Catch ya later X x X x X

How dumb am I?

What a morning I have had?!?! I get to work and my mum rung… I’d only forgot to take Abigail’s school shoes this morning! How dumb am I? So my mum’s stuck with Abigail and no shoes!! So I had to go home, get the shoes, take them to my mum’s and come back to work! So then I can’t park… I’ve ended up blocking two women in I work with, so I’m now expecting a phone call from the parking company! Let them start with me today, the mood I’m in!!

 

I’ve sorted a babysitter out for tonight though…. Our Sue’s hubby is going to look after Abigail for me so I can go out! I REALLY need a night out now as well!! I can envisage me getting very drunk!!

Me and Chelle are going to the gym tonight…. Very excited about that, I’ve weighed myself this morning and I’ve lost another 2 lb!! I’m being very good (apart from tonight obviously!) and drinking loads of water every day!! I feel better about myself now I’ve lost some weight too… I feel fitter and that! It’s good when ya start seeing/feeling the results of ya hard work!

In other sad news… there was no sexy men working out next door, for me to drool over last night! I have to say I was slightly disappointed… but maybe over the weekend they’ll be working out again! Fingers crossed!

Catch ya later X x X x X

By the way

In all the excitement of drooling over my neighbour and his sexy mates working out I forgot to say earlier…. Liverpool Won!! 2 – 1 against Barcelona!! That’s a fantastic result cos they were away from home and in the Champions League there’s the ‘away goal’ rule, and Barcelona are of course, the current champions (Err, I think they are anyway) so all in all a fabulous result! So now Barcelona have got to come to Anfield, and cos of the away goals, they’ll have to win by at least 2 clear goals in order to stop Liverpool from qualifying… so it’s looking good! And, it was quite poetic cos the goal scorers were Riise and Bellamy who all the trouble was with at the weekend… Funny! 

Also in less good news… I might not have a babysitter tomorrow so I may not be able to go out!! That’s not good is it! 

That’s all I had to say… See ya! X x X x X

Back to Work

I’m back at work now… unfortunately! I feel like I’ve walked into a warzone, it seems a load of trouble has kicked off while I’ve been off! The atmosphere is horrible. I really want to still be at home! Never mind, it’s Friday tomorrow! 

I’ve booked a table at Bella Blu, Italian at Bolsover for me, mum, Sue and my aunty tomorrow night… excited about that! The table’s booked for 8.30, so we’re gonna go into Bolsover at about 7.30 and have a couple of drinks in the pubs!  

Last night, I went to see one of oldest friends… Jodie. We’ve known each other since we were 5! We went all through school together! She’s not long since moved into a new house with her fiancé! The house is lovely… they’ve got a bit of work to do in the kitchen but other than that, they’ve done a lovely job! She’s getting married in September and then they’re gonna start trying for babies! Exciting! It was fantastic to catch up with her! We always have such a laugh! I think she’s coming up to mine at some point over the weekend, then following a little chat with Chelle we’ve decided we’re both gonna go and see her at some point soon too! 

Tomorrow afternoon Chelle and me are definitely going to the gym… we have it all planned! I’m fully excited about that! I can’t wait to get back into the routine of going regularly, I love how I feel after I’ve exercised… I feel all invigorated and refreshed! 

Oooh, gotta tell ya as well… as I was going out last night, my well fit next door neighbour and his even sexier friend were working out in his garage (cos he has a little gym in there) and I was proper drooling! They were lifting these weights and they looked uber sexy! I nearly crashed the car as I reversed off the drive… hoping that becomes a regular thing cos then I may have to find a few jobs to be done on the front garden! I was quite pleased cos I’d just got ready my hair was done and I had some make up so I was like doing a little bit of smiling at his friend and he was smiling back!! Where normally, I’d have had been looking rough as fcuk in my pj’s!! I couldn’t have timed it better! 

On that note… Catch Ya Later X x X x X

Time off is almost up!

It’s my last day off work today! Back to the office tomorrow! I can’t believe how quickly this time off has gone! I went back to Halfords today, they’ve determined which wiring thingy is needed so I’m going back on Saturday to get the CD Player installed… what a long winded process this has been! Plus, I changed the wheel trims that I bought yesterday for the correct size! And, I managed to take off the three remaining old ones and put the new ones on all by myself! Now considering I know nothing about cars and I’ve never done anything like that before… I’m feeling very proud of myself! I even got a little bit dirty AND broke a nail!!  I think I’m going out Friday night, just with some of the Family for a meal for my birthday! I’ve got to sort it out with Sue (she gets back off holiday today) but I think we’re going for an Italian, so that should be nice! I ant been out properly for ages so exciting! Me and Chelle have decided that we’re going back to the gym from Friday! I’m fully excited about that, I haven’t been for ages and I really feel like I wanna do some exercise!  

I forgot to blog the other day what my sister had bought me for my birthday. They’re called spa lights and you put them in your bath and they stay lit up… they’re so cool. I’ve never seen anything like them before! I took a picture of the lights in the bath so you could all see how cool they look!

 

Catch ya later… or tomorrow when I’m back at work! Boo!