All hell broke loose…

I can’t believe what happened last night!! I think I am still in a state of shock! I better start at the beginning… 

Me, Sue and Andy decided to go to ‘Family Night’ at the Club cos the kids really wanted to go. It was fancy dress for Halloween and everything, so we thought, hey why not right!! So off we went. Things started off quite well, Mel & Boney were in and we were all having a laugh, I got chatting to a girl I went to school with who’s got a little girl the same age as Abigail and it was great to talk to her. Then, the stinking gypo’s come in, and it’s the same gypo’s that Sue & Andy had trouble with a bit back, they were supposed to have been barred for life, but it turns out, not so much. Anyway, the one that hit Sue decided it was a good idea to come and sit next to us! So, we do the bigger thing and move away! Next, all the ‘witches’ from the village were then sat giving us the dead eye, ALL night! Not really sure why, but again, we decide, don’t let it get to us, they’re the ones that are sad and pathetic. By this point, we’d really started to enjoy the night. Until…. Who walks in… Twathoop!! Oh yes, that’s right and he was absolutely wasted. We ignored him at first as he meandered his way around the club, it was really getting to me though and I decided to go to the loo then go home before I really got upset. However, when I got back from the toilet, he came and sat next to me!! He said “I’ve been knocking on your door about an hour”… and was just talking to me as though I’d only seen him the day before and we were still seeing each other or summat… Bizarre. I thought our Sue was gonna kill him then and there. He went to the bar so I decided to make my escape while he had a full pint in his hand, thinking I’d have time to get home and lock the doors before he came after me. So I got Abigail ready and we headed for home. But no, he CHASED me out of the club! Came up to me and held my hand!! He then picked Abigail up and was cuddling her saying he’d missed us. Well, I’d gone at that… I told him to put Abigail the fuck down and fuck off home basically. But, he didn’t listen, partly due to the fact that he was wasted and partly due to the fact that he’s never listened to me yet. So I decided that the best idea would probably be to get Abigail home and in bed and then deal with him as it was quite clear he wasn’t taking no for an answer. But, unbeknown to me, Sue had seen him chase me from the club, she came through the gates, saw him on the drive and assumed that I was letting him in I think. Well… to say she flipped would be the understatement of the century. She was screaming and shouting and kicking off left right and centre. In his wasted state he wasn’t helping things and everything just went to hell in a hand basket basically. All the street got woke up, I was trying to calm the situation down and explain to Sue that I had no intention of letting him in, but she was gone, she wouldn’t listen. Mel was there too and she was trying to get the kids away (cos Abigail, Max, Chelsea and Charlie were all there) but Max was scared and he ran back to the club to get Andy. Andy come storming through, thought twathoop was going after Sue, ran up and started kicking the shit out of him. I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to split it up but my main concern was that this was all kicking off in front of the kids, who were really upset by this point. So me & Mel took the kids to her house to try and calm them down. Sue came up after us and kicked off at me, saying look what I’d created and it was all my fault if Andy went to prison… and I think I was just in a state of shock. I gave it a few minutes before going home, got there and there was literally blood all over my door and door step which, of course, set Abigail off again. So I settle her down, and I’m sat on the sofa dumbstruck, when twathoop, comes back! Apparently boney had took him to the club to get him cleaned up and a taxi home but he decided to come back to mine instead. His face was a mess, the blood was just pissing out his head and I felt soooo guilty, I wanted to let him in and get him cleaned up and a taxi home, but I thought if Andy or Sue had seen him come back then it would all just kick off again so I told him to go home and he said he couldn’t get home, I said that there really wasn’t much I could do about that so he reckoned he was walking it. So I sat up all night convinced that Sue was never gonna speak to me again, that I’d have to find somewhere new to live and that twathoop was gonna get hit by a car and die in a ditch somewhere between Houghton and Bolsover. I was sick, I felt like I couldn’t breathe and my heart was pounding all night… It was horrible. 

At 6 am this morning I’m out on the front step scrubbing the blood off it, sobbing… Mint! I rang mum at 9.30 am, went down there and explained it all to her. I said I needed to clear my head so she said to leave Abigail with her and go for a drive or summat. I had no idea where I was gonna go, but I found myself heading towards twathoops house. I needed to know that he was ok and if he’d phoned the police or not. So I pull up round the corner and sit for 20 minutes decided whether or not to go up, but I did. He answered the door and he was ok. He’s got a cut above his eye that’s quite bad (personally, I think it needed stitches cos it was still bleeding at 10.30 this morning) and a bruise on his cheek, but other than that he was ok. He said he was in the wrong, he should never have come up and he shouldn’t have been using his mouth and he hasn’t rung the police or owt. So I left there feeling slightly better knowing that he was alive and everything! 

On the way home, Sue text me saying she was sorry, she was just being overprotective and she doesn’t like to see me being used and she hopes we can be ok. So I went round there, we had a hug (very unusual for me and Sue, we don’t do hugging) and I explained that I wasn’t letting him in. But she said, even if I was, it wasn’t for her to kick off like that. She said she was worried that he’d walked it home and got hit by a car or summat, so I told her that I’d been to seem him and she was quite pleased about that. Then I saw Andy and he said he felt horrible too, he said he shouldn’t have hit him, at the end of the day, Andy didn’t know what was going off and reacted to what he saw. Andy has said that if he sees him he’ll shake his hand cos they both accept they were wrong. 

So now here I am, about as confused (if not more confused) as I was when I was seeing him, 5 fucking months ago. Only now, I feel inexplicably guilty cos Abigail got caught up in it all and that was the last thing in the world I wanted to happen. But I tried the best I could to protect her from that last night, I just wanted to get her in the house and settled before it all kicked off but I can’t control other people can I? 

So, do I still think it’s a coincidence that he turn up days after I’d spoken to the neighbour…. Errr… NO!

Old Friends/Old Enemies??

It’s been a while again hasn’t it? Not too much to report to be honest. Tuesday night I went to see Ally with Chelle and we had a lovely catch up! Ally’s house is lovely, they’ve made it a proper home! And we’ve all promised that we’ll make it a regular thing cos we left it far too long last time! So with that in mind, I think me & Ally are going over to Chelle’s one night this week, so we can see Baby Hough’s room!!  

I’ve had two days off work and done absolutely nothing Lol (I’ve made up for it this morning cos I’ve got up and blitzed the house!)! I love lazy days though!! Thursday night Emma & Lee came over with their kids and we had a lovely night of chats and cups of tea! Time kinda got away from us though and it was 10.30 pm before they went. None of us were too worried though cos I was off work and so were Emma & Lee and the kids were off school so its not like any of us had anything to get up for! Abigail didn’t surface out of bed til 10 am the following morning, most unusual for her! But all in all it was a good night, I always have a laugh with Emma & Lee, we seem to all have a similar sense of humour, I’m really glad that we see more of each other now, it’s nice for the kids to all play together and I like spending time in the company of actual people of an evening!! 

Well, how shit are Liverpool at the minute?? We LOST, that’s right lost, in the Champions League, to, wait for it Besiktas, what? You’ve never heard of them? No, nor has anyone else!! They are the shittest team in the world… and we managed to lose 2 – 1 to them!! We now have to win all 3 of our last 3 games to qualify! At the rate we’re going I can’t see that happening!! Liverpool without European Football is like ant without dec… just not as good!! Then, tomorrow, we face Arsenal in the Premier League, bearing in mind that arsenal won their Champions League game 7 – 0 or summat, we’ll probably concede 9!! Grr… Rafa wants to buck his ideas up or I think he might be finding his P45 in the post… I wouldn’t normally criticise the man cos obviously he knows more than me, but he does keep tinkering with the team, and it’s clearly not working!! While I’m talking about football, I must just tell ya about Chelle’s Pregnant/Blonde moment at Ally’s house.. We were on about the footie and she said oooh, Man U are playing today aren’t they, and someone (I can’t remember who) said who they playing against, so Chelle says ‘Yeovil Chicken’, so me and Ally look at her a bit weirdly and say no, I don’t think they are… she says they are, they’re playing Yeovil Chicken, so we have a look and they’re actually playing Dynamo Kiev… She says yeah, that’s what she meant, chicken kiev!! I was in hysterics! I’m actually laughing now just thinking about it… I think Pregnancy has turned her brains to mush!!! 

I have to say, I’m loving Facebook (even if they have blocked us from using it at work!) I’m a bit of a facebook virgin, but it’s ace! I found an old friend on there that I went to Primary School with.. we used to ‘go out with each other’ when we were like 10!! How cute!! So we’ve been messaging each other… it’s so cool to get in touch with someone like that, it’s weird cos I was only thinking about him earlier this week then I stumbled on his profile through another ‘friends’!!  

In another bizarre turn of events, I saw twathoop yesterday… Now there’s a name we’ve not mentioned for a while! He came to the neighbours obviously but I’ve literally not seen him at all since all the shit kicked off, not even coming and going from next door. It’s odd cos, last weekend, when I was rather drunk I was talking to the neighbour, and I’m fairly sure his name came up and I’m not totally sure what I said, but I think I might have told him, how deeply I felt for twathoop before all the shit kicked off. So I’m now wondering if it’s just a coincidence that he reappear after I’ve spilled my guts? Anyway, he looked at me (through my living room window, I think Chelle’s right, I d need a blind or summat up there!) and we had eye contact for a minute, but that was it, but apparently that was enough to send me into a panic attack! I properly couldn’t breathe!! And then I threw up, now that’s not good is it? Oh I don’t know… It wouldn’t be my life unless there was some shit kicking off would it? Maybe I was stupid to think that I’d NEVER see him again, but I would have liked it like that, cos now I’ve started thinking about him again! 

I better leave it at that, I’ve rambled on a bit ant I?? Oh, I will just say to people that think I’m ignoring them… I’m not! I’m just not sure what you expect me to say, am I supposed to stop and chat to you as if nothing happened?  See Ya XxXxX

Mega Weekend!!

What a completely and utterly amazing weekend I have had! Friday night with Jodie was mint! We had a proper laugh and we got wasted!! It was really nice that it was just us two out and we could just chat and everything! Then last night, I had originally planned a quiet night in watching the Rugby (shame we lost ay? But at least we put in a good effort!) But then Sue invited us down for a drink and to watch the Rugby down there with her, so off we went (in our pj’s, of course), then Sue’s mate, Mel (I think I’ve mentioned her before, she’s an absolute mint lass and whenever you’re with her, you’re bound to be laughing!) and said did we wanna go round there. So off we trotted to her house (still in our pj’s), it was nice cos Abigail got to play with Chelsea so she wasn’t bothered about being out! Anyway, we had an absolutely mint night, we were dancing all over Mel’s kitchen! We did manage to make our way through several bottles of wine and by the time Andy come round with the some of the lads from the village we were, hmmm, shall we say, very merry! Then, we all went back to Sue’s and the party carried on there (I will just say, Abigail was in bed at Sue’s house at this point before anyone starts ringing social services or owt!). Anyway, we were well wrecked and having a mint laugh, Sue was dancing on the work tops, and doing her ‘sexy dance’ which as it happens, is not even in the slightest bit sexy! We even had it out with this bitch that works with Sue and is supposedly her friend, cos when we were in Leeds last weekend she was proper vile to Sue (I think it was purely out of jealousy but ya know..) so I text her saying she was out of order and she text back this rate creeping message saying she thinks the world of Sue and all this! Bleugh!! I felt rough as fuck this morning though!! I think I need to start taking it steady!! My liver won’t cope with much more of this! Lol!! 

I’m having a slight moral crisis at the minute. I can’t really say too much cos of getting myself and other people into trouble, but, erm, lets just say I’ve been propositioned, by someone that should not be propositioning me, and it was made very clear that we both ‘would’. The thing is, I would act on this, and I’m fairly sure from his behaviour towards me then and since, that he would too, but am I that sort of person? Could I really disregard everyone else’s feelings? And not only that, if it did happen, I couldn’t tell ANYONE, literally, and while that does have a certain sexy, dangerous appeal, I think it probably would kill me! I’m sort of arguing with myself about it, cos I think, I’ve been on the receiving end of similar things and no one was bothered about how they’re behaviour affected me, and also the person who’s feelings would potentially be hurt, has never been particularly nice to me, or even civil. But, on the other hand, seeing as I know what it feels like to be in the position could I live with myself knowing what I was doing? Hmm, I love making decisions like this!! Not!! Maybe I’ll just pretend like the proposition never happened and see what happens? 

I’m only at work 3 days this week, I’ve put a couple f holiday days in seeing as its half term, so I can spend some time with Abigail! I’m really looking forward to having a couple of days where I have nothing to do, cos it seems to me that since we got back from holiday I’ve been rushing around non-stop and it’s taking it’s toll now. My stomach’s been killing me, I’ve been having some proper crippling pains where I had the appendix out and I’m not totally sure why… I’m hoping that a few days resting will calm it down! Add to that the fact that its PMT week, and you have a recipe for disaster! Especially, seeing as I stopped taking the pill when I was in hospital and it’s the first proper period since then, cos the whole reason I went on the pill was cos I suffered really bad with my periods and I’m just starting to fully remember the joy of it all!!!  

See Ya’ll Soon… XxXxX

Depressing Post

I didn’t get to see Ally or Chelle yesterday, with Abigail being ill I didn’t want to take her out in the cold and it wasn’t worth risking Chelle catching the infection when she’s so close to having her little baby! I was gutted that we couldn’t catch up though, I think we’re rearranging for next Tuesday though.  

While I really wanted to go out last night it was probably a good job I was in. One of Sue’s closest friends passed away yesterday morning. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned her before or not so I’ll fill ya in anyway. Sue worked with her and last year she went to the Dr’s with back ache, it turned out she’d got cancer in her kidneys and it’d been there a while. By the time they operated they found it had spread and basically said there was nothing they could do and she probably wouldn’t live til xmas last year. The lady was only 42, she battled on bless her but she’d been getting worse over the last few weeks and was admitted to the hospice about a week ago, when the Dr’s said the cancer had spread to her brain. Anyway, like I said she passed away yesterday morning, quite peacefully by all accounts and with all her family around her. Sue was, naturally, devastated so she came round for a bit. I comforted her the best I could and she knows where I am if she needs me, I can’t do much more than that can I? It’s weird, because I didn’t really know this woman, I’ve met her a few times, and that’s all. But I’ve sort of been ‘following’ her progress if you like through Sue. Because I don’t know her though, I’m obviously not grieving for her, but it’s sort of made me start thinking really morbid thoughts like what if it was me, or my mum or dad, I really don’t know what I’d do… It’s horrible when you think about it. I mean, this woman has an 18 year old son and a 21 year old daughter who now don’t have a mum, and she will never get to see them married or have kids. How unfair is that? I just think if anything happened to me, Abigail wouldn’t have any parents.. and that scares me. I know my mum and the rest of the family would do their best for her, but it’s not the same as having your mum or dad is it? I feel quite selfish for thinking about myself when this woman’s family will be grieving for her but my thoughts are with them, and I truly can’t imagine how absolutely devastated they must be.  

Wow, how depressing am I? On the positive side, I’m going out Friday night. I’ve seen Jodie tonight and we decided we needed a night out just me and her. We haven’t been out together for ages with her getting married and me being ill. So, Friday night, just us two are off down Clowne (I’ve never been out down there but Fridays are supposed to be a good night) and we intend to have an absolutely blinding night! I’ve sorted Drew’s sister to come and look after Abigail and I just need to book the taxi’s tomorrow! I’m really look forward to it! What a shitty result in the football today! How can England lose 2 – 1against Russia? I don’t think Steve McLaren is going to be in a job for much longer!! We’ll be lucky to qualify now, it’s all in the hands of other teams! I think we’ll be better of focusing on the Rugby, at least they got to the final ay? 

Anyway, after I’ve depressed ya all… I’m off.. See Ya XxXxX

It’s Back – The Dreaded Tonsillitis

You know it’s winter when…  Abigail’s back on antibiotics! Yes, that’s right, tonsillitis again only this time, it’s accompanied by a Chest Infection! Oh goody, goody! I guess that’s the start of my fortnightly trips to the Dr’s… Cos do you think they’ll refer her yet… Oh No!! I’ll tell ya now though, they’ll be so sick of me asking for her to be referred if we have another winter like I had with her last year, that they’ll refer her just to shut me up! So now, she’s off school (again) and I’ve got Parents Evening coming up, so I’m going to have to explain why she’s missed so much school and she if I can get something in place so that if she does have to have loads of time off, she doesn’t miss too much!

I decided to have the appointment with the Clinical Psychologist after much soul searching. I figure its got to be worth going to at least 1 session or I’ll never know if it’ll work for me or not will I? So I’ve rung her back and left a message and she’s going to contact me with an appointment soon! 

Last night, for the first time since we got back from holiday I actually just chilled on the sofa ALL evening! It was AMAZING (small pleasures ay?). I got in from work (after taking Abigail to the Dr’s of course) and made tea, did a bit of ironing, hovered up, had a bath all before 7.30pm then I sat and watched TV til 10.30 pm! I’ve got loads to catch up on!! 

Tonight won’t be the same though, But at least I’ll be going out somewhere I want to be instead of the hospital or Dr’s or summat! Chelle’s coming over to mine at 6.30pm so we can have a cuppa and a chat before we go to Ally’s at 7.30! It shouldn’t be too late a night though, I don’t think Chelle will want to be out late and I don’t with Abigail being ill! It’ll be great to see both Ally and Chelle though, it’s been far too long since we all had a good girly natter!! 

I can’t believe the England match kicks off at 4 pm tomorrow! I’m still gonna be at work!! I’m hoping one of the lads in the office will have a radio or summat!! Grrr…!! 

I’ve just remembered a dream I had last night… I can’t be arsed to look it up yet, but there was a horse stuck in my pond!! Weird huh??

 Anyway, that’s about all from me! See ya… 

Oooh… I’ve just remembered, I saw my ‘Crush’ yesterday! I’ve not thought about him for a while, needless to say I am now though!! Lol!!

Fire on the 17th Floor!!

Well, we’ve all arrived home from Leeds fairly unscathed. Slightly knackered and hungover mind you, but we’re all back in one piece even if we probably don’t feel like it!! We had a MINT day! The minibus picked us up at just after 11 am and we were out for 1 pm. We didn’t get in again until 4 am!! So, like I said, I’m well knackered! We were staying in the Park Plaza in Leeds which is right on the main street. So, like I said, I’m well knackered! It was a laugh from start to finish and we got up to some right antics, but as one of the girls said “What happens on Tour stays on tour”, Although by 1 am she was saying “What stays on tour happens on tour” which, I suppose is nearly the same thing. We did pop back to the room briefly at about 6 ish for a quick shower, change and back out and Jackie had taken a bottle of Sambuco (sp?) with her and some shot glasses, so in our (drunken) wisdom, we decided to have flaming Sambuco, not a good idea as it turns out. Lorna had hers, but of course, seeing as it was on fire, the glass was a tad on the hot side and she dropped it, now she thought she’d blown the flame out but, no! The flaming Sambuco hit the floor and started a wee little fire!!! Well, we were jumping about like twats! Luckily Louise jumped into action and put the fire out! It was soooo funny! Needless to say, on the next round of shots we didn’t bother lighting them! Like I said, I thoroughly enjoyed it and it was definitely what I needed! We were out for both the football and the rugby and considering they were both great wins the atmosphere was fantastic! Although, it was a shame about the text I received half way through the night, that did put a dampner on my mood for a while, but I then decided not to let it bother me and enjoyed myself all the more for it! I thought my timing was bad though!

Works going ok now, I’m getting into quite a good routine and have got several ‘day-to-day’ tasks that need doing and that are keeping me occupied. It’s nice to be back into the routine of work as well though. I know where I am what I’m doing when I’ve got my routine! 

My Sisters a LOT LOT better now. She did have a slight set back mid-week, where she developed pleurisy along with the pneumonia she’d already got! But she’s on the mend now and provided she can manage the stairs test when the Physio’s assess her, I think they’ll let her home tomorrow!! 

Abigail’s ill now though. She started off with a cough but now her throat and ears are bad again too and she’s suffering with her breathing! So, we’re off to the Dr’s tonight at 4.30 pm meaning I’ve got to leave work an hour early and my manager is nowhere to be seen yet so I can’t confirm it! Great stuff! 

I received a letter on Friday, right, back in May I was referred to a ‘Clinical Psychologist’ for various issues and reasons that I ain’t getting into. Now, I was beginning to think they’d forgotten about me, but I as I say I got a letter Friday saying they’re sorry for the delay blah, blah, blah and would I still like to go. But the thing is, now I’m at a loss as to what to do. I want to be able to talk about the issues and reasons that got me referred in the first place and move on, but, and it’s a big BUT, I don’t ‘do’ talking about me and my feelings. I find it difficult to express the issue articulately so how I am going to cope sat in a room with a stranger for an hour talking about it? I am tempted to arrange the appointment to go for the assessment and take it from there, cos surely, this, Clinical Psychologist person will now if the sessions are right for me and if they stand a chance of working, don’t ya think? But, at the same time, I don’t want to open a can of worms and make things worse, at the end of the day I’ve managed 9 years living obliviously like it don’t affect so why change now? Hmmm, decisions, decisions! 

 

Anyway, it’s back to work this morning, even though I feel like I could sleep for a week! And the excitement that awaits me tonight? IRONING! I’ve only been doing what I need to get by all week with visiting Leanne so I’ve now got a Mountain of ironing to wade through! I did manage to get the house cleaned top to bottom on Friday though, so after I’ve done the ironing I’ll do a quick whip round with the hoover and I’ll be done! Tomorrow should be better though, me & Chelle are going round to Ally’s! I haven’t seen their new house yet cos of one thing and another so I’m very excited, and I’m equally excited to see Chelle and her bump cos I ant seen her for ages either!

 

See Ya Soon…

I’m baaaack!!!!

Hi again all… So, I’m back from holiday! Got back about 3 pm Sunday afternoon. We’ve had a lovely time. Abigail thought the plane was AMAZING!! She was the only one excited to be going back cos it meant that she could go on the plane again! She’s thoroughly enjoyed herself all week and has had everyone in stitches with her comical behaviour! I took a few pics on the mobile of her splashing in the pool and everything else she’s got up to this past week! It’s a good job I’d lost that stone in weight though before we went, cos I’ve put 4 lb on while we’ve been away! I’m starting afresh now I’m back at work though and hopefully keep off the rest of the weight I lost and lose some more!

 

       

 

These are the only ones I’ve got at work I’ll probably post some more later! Here she is in the pool, ready for a night out, one night when we went out for a drink and some ice cream and the last one she was fast asleep in bed on the morning we were coming home and I had to wake her up at 6 am! I just thought she looked soooo cute!

 However, things since we got back have not been so good. My youngest sister was a bit ‘off it’ when we were travelling back on Sunday but nothing too drastic ya know? But then when we got home she went downhill dramatically. She could barely breathe, she was really groggy and out of it. Monday morning, Mum phoned the Dr’s and got her an appointment for that afternoon, but in the meantime her condition kept getting worse. So, Mum decided to take her up to A & E to get her checked out. She’s now been admitted to the hospital as they’ve found out she’s got pneumonia!! She’s only 17! So yesterday was a complete nightmare, it got so bad at one point the Dr’s were asking us if we wanted her resuscitated if the worse came to the worse! My mum nearly collapsed when they said that! It was really scary sat there watching struggling to breathe and her not being able to acknowledge we were there! My mum has rung me this morning and said that my sister does seem to be doing a lot better! Hopefully she’s responding to the antibiotics and is now on the mend! So, I’ve come to work (I’ve got to show willing haven’t I really seeing as I’ve been off for 3 weeks!) and Mum’s keeping me informed! At the end of the day, if she does take really bad again I’m in the hospital and Mum will let me know so I’m literally 2 minutes away! 

On the work note, how glad am I to be back? Erm, not at all! There’s still nothing at all to do so looks like I’ve got an exciting day in store! I am glad to be back in the routine of coming to work and everything, it’d just be nice to have something to do when I get here! 

Just a quick note on my last entry, I’m not gonna dwell on it, but, so far, there doesn’t seem to be any ‘fall out’! No ones said that they know anything… Hmmm, I think I’d be slightly delusional to believe it’ll stay like that but here’s hoping ay? 

I’m off to Leeds on Saturday (All being well with my sister of course)! I’m really looking for to it, I’m going with our Sue and a load of the girls for a days partying basically! I plan to get absolutely rat arsed drunk cos we’re staying overnight in a hotel and Abigail’s staying at mum’s! I’ve ordered two new tops to pick from and some new jeans!

   <—– Which one do ya like best? 

Err, don’t get me started on the shite performances Liverpool have been churning out in the last week or so! Losing 1 – 0 to Marseille, at Anfield! Can’t get over how bad they performed that night, they’ve got to do some serious work to qualify for the later stages of the Champions League now! Then drawing 2 – 2 to Spurs at Home on Sunday!! Pants!! 

I’ve been pondering things in this last week, probably due to the amount of free time I’ve had on my hands! I’ve been thinking about how I’ve acted towards certain people in the past few months and I’m properly ashamed of how I’ve behaved. I was cold and at times not at all friendly and looking back I can’t believe how I was. I know it’s not an excuse, but I have had a lot (I seem to have had a lot on for over a year now!), and I may have been hasty in some of the decisions I’ve made and I regret that now, I don’t think I gave it a chance, but, as is ever my luck, it seems I’ve realised too late and there’s nothing I can do about it now! The situation has changed and people move on (invariably, to other people). Maybe I’ll learn my lesson, and recognise a good thing when it’s in front of me from now on! 

Anyway, that’s enough for now. See ya Soon XxXxX