Still no positivity!

It’s been a while again hasn’t it? I’ve been a bit crap with the updating lately!

I went to see that Reiki lady last week, it was very odd! She started off by asking why I was there and I explained that I’d been feeling negative and angry all the time. Then, she asked for some background information so I told her. It’s weird though cos she knew stuff that I hadn’t told her, like for example, I never mentioned anything about TH and she sat there for a few minutes and said, there’s something else that’s bothering you, something you’ve not mentioned. Then she said that I’ve got like a spirit with me all the time guiding me, and he had told her to ask me about my neighbours, so I just said no there’s nothing wrong with my neighbours, it wasn’t til I came away that I realised the link between the neighbour and TH! Anyway, she did the Reiki thing on me, which consists of her like, channelling your energies and clearing all the negative stuff so you’re open to receive positive stuff (or summat like that, I didn’t really understand it to be honest)! It felt really weird when she was doing it, my body kept twitching and my legs were shaking and she just kept saying that it was perfectly normal! She said that it wasn’t really about me feeling angry, it’s more to do with the choices I’ve made and me feeling like they’ve been the wrong ones, which I think is bang on, cos lets be honest, I’m not exactly brilliant at making the right choices am I? I did feel better when I came out, I felt all light and everything, but unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to have lasted, cos I feel as negative and down as I did before now!  

Thursday, I went back to see my Psychologist lady. I wasn’t looking forward to it at all, in fact I nearly cancelled it on Wednesday! But I decided to go and deal with it. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be really, but it wasn’t pleasant! I can’t remember what we discussed now, but I know it was about choices again. She said I don’t trust myself to make the right choices and I said no, I don’t cos it seems every time I’m faced with a choice I automatically choose the most destructive option! She also said that I’ve got unresolved issues about rejection and trust which is why I keep repeating my behaviour with TH, and men like him. Cos she thinks I go for men like that, who won’t/can’t commit and offer me what I want, cos then I don’t have to let them in or let my guard down so it’s a safer choice for me, even though I do still get hurt, its not the same as if you trust someone and let them in and start to depend on them and THEN they let you down and leave you. But, she said this can be resolved, we just have to get to the original source of it, and then she thinks I can move on and have healthy relationship, but I’m not convinced!!

I still haven’t seen TH by the way, in case you hadn’t guessed. But I’m still frustrating myself by wanting him to turn up and almost sitting waiting him all the god damn time!

In good news, all this negativity is helping with one of the New Years Resolutions, the diets doing well cos I’ve hardly eaten anything this week… I just haven’t been hungry, so I’ve lost nearly 5 lb this week!  But, none of that has made me feel any better! I just think, you can talk to you’re blue in the face but it doesn’t change the facts, I’m not happy, I’m still alone and I’m sat in the house, on my own, every night and anyone who thinks I’m feeling sorry for myself should try being on their own, day after day, night after night and see how you feel!  

New Year

Apologies for being late with my New Year blog! I’ve really felt like crap for the past week or so and I couldn’t be arsed to do anything to be honest! 

So Happy New Year everyone! Hope 2008 brings lots of nice, lovely things for all my friends! Can’t say I’m having the most positive start to 08! But I don’t suppose that’s a big surprise. I’m hoping I’ll start feeling a bit more positive soon though, cos I’ve got a few New Years Resolutions I’d like to make, I know you’re supposed to make them on 1^st January but with me not feeling overly positive and not being back in the full work routine there’s no point starting yet cos I’ll only break them! So from Tuesday (that’s when I’m back at work properly) I plan to: 

1. Get Healthy!!! I’m gonna start a proper diet and intend to do some form of exercise, although I’ve not determined what yet. I’m thinking about maybe, when I get in from work going for a run, then walking down to pick Abigail up and walking back. I think that’ll be a good place to start, cos I’ve not really got to time to go to the Gym or anything now with me working later. Although I do love it at the Gym.
2. Have a more positive attitude towards life in general.
3. Get over TH and get him out of my life once and for all. Not sure how to achieve this one, but I know I want to!

 I think that’ll do, I don’t want to make too many cos then you’re just setting yourself up for failure! New Year’s Eve was good in the most part. I was at work NYE day but fortunately they let us finish at 3 which was a bonus considering I had to be ready for 7! So we went out at 7 and into Pleasley, and had a proper laugh, time flew and before we knew it we were still in the Lakeside at 11 pm! We’d not made any arrangements to get back to the village but we wanted to be back at the club for midnight. We were lucky really cos some of the other folk that were out from the village had booked a minibus and we know the bloke that was driving and he agreed to come back for us and take us back up! Everyone was in good spirits and there was no trouble which really makes a change!! Midnight came and I cried! I don’t even know why to be honest I was just looking round at everyone all happy with their partners and felt alone and a little bit like a spare part! Once I’d got over that I was ok though, I went home at about 1.30 am. I decided in my drunken wisdom that it’d be a good time to start taking the Christmas Decorations down!! So I did! I left the tree but took all the garlands and tinsel down!! I was going to go to bed but didn’t feel tired at all, then Sue came down! At 3 am, cos her brother in law was throwing up in her sink! So she came out the way! Unfortunately though, her father in law followed her down here, so I ended up making him a cup of tea and me & Sue had to listen to him telling his ‘stories’ at 3 in the morning!! 

I’ve not seen or heard anything from TH. So don’t know whats happened there… again! It really bugged me all over Christmas, cos I’ve let him get to me again and before I was in a place where I wasn’t thinking about him all the time and waiting for him to show up, but now I am again!! Grrr… Men! Will I ever meet someone that makes me happy? It’s not looking good is it? 

I’m going to see a Reiki lady on Monday! I’m not really sure what to expect from it, but Sue’s been and she says she feel 100 times better than she did, like everything that’s been burdening and bothering her has been lifted. So it’s got to be worth a shot! I’d do anything to feel better at the minute! Then I’ve got my first appointment of the New Year with my Psychologist lady on Thursday. I’m a bit apprehensive about that, cos last time we were talking about the actual thing that had happened and I’m not sure if I want to go there again!! We’ll see though ay? 

Well, I think I’ve rattled on a bit there! See Ya…

I’m baaaack!!!!

Hi again all… So, I’m back from holiday! Got back about 3 pm Sunday afternoon. We’ve had a lovely time. Abigail thought the plane was AMAZING!! She was the only one excited to be going back cos it meant that she could go on the plane again! She’s thoroughly enjoyed herself all week and has had everyone in stitches with her comical behaviour! I took a few pics on the mobile of her splashing in the pool and everything else she’s got up to this past week! It’s a good job I’d lost that stone in weight though before we went, cos I’ve put 4 lb on while we’ve been away! I’m starting afresh now I’m back at work though and hopefully keep off the rest of the weight I lost and lose some more!

 

       

 

These are the only ones I’ve got at work I’ll probably post some more later! Here she is in the pool, ready for a night out, one night when we went out for a drink and some ice cream and the last one she was fast asleep in bed on the morning we were coming home and I had to wake her up at 6 am! I just thought she looked soooo cute!

 However, things since we got back have not been so good. My youngest sister was a bit ‘off it’ when we were travelling back on Sunday but nothing too drastic ya know? But then when we got home she went downhill dramatically. She could barely breathe, she was really groggy and out of it. Monday morning, Mum phoned the Dr’s and got her an appointment for that afternoon, but in the meantime her condition kept getting worse. So, Mum decided to take her up to A & E to get her checked out. She’s now been admitted to the hospital as they’ve found out she’s got pneumonia!! She’s only 17! So yesterday was a complete nightmare, it got so bad at one point the Dr’s were asking us if we wanted her resuscitated if the worse came to the worse! My mum nearly collapsed when they said that! It was really scary sat there watching struggling to breathe and her not being able to acknowledge we were there! My mum has rung me this morning and said that my sister does seem to be doing a lot better! Hopefully she’s responding to the antibiotics and is now on the mend! So, I’ve come to work (I’ve got to show willing haven’t I really seeing as I’ve been off for 3 weeks!) and Mum’s keeping me informed! At the end of the day, if she does take really bad again I’m in the hospital and Mum will let me know so I’m literally 2 minutes away! 

On the work note, how glad am I to be back? Erm, not at all! There’s still nothing at all to do so looks like I’ve got an exciting day in store! I am glad to be back in the routine of coming to work and everything, it’d just be nice to have something to do when I get here! 

Just a quick note on my last entry, I’m not gonna dwell on it, but, so far, there doesn’t seem to be any ‘fall out’! No ones said that they know anything… Hmmm, I think I’d be slightly delusional to believe it’ll stay like that but here’s hoping ay? 

I’m off to Leeds on Saturday (All being well with my sister of course)! I’m really looking for to it, I’m going with our Sue and a load of the girls for a days partying basically! I plan to get absolutely rat arsed drunk cos we’re staying overnight in a hotel and Abigail’s staying at mum’s! I’ve ordered two new tops to pick from and some new jeans!

   <—– Which one do ya like best? 

Err, don’t get me started on the shite performances Liverpool have been churning out in the last week or so! Losing 1 – 0 to Marseille, at Anfield! Can’t get over how bad they performed that night, they’ve got to do some serious work to qualify for the later stages of the Champions League now! Then drawing 2 – 2 to Spurs at Home on Sunday!! Pants!! 

I’ve been pondering things in this last week, probably due to the amount of free time I’ve had on my hands! I’ve been thinking about how I’ve acted towards certain people in the past few months and I’m properly ashamed of how I’ve behaved. I was cold and at times not at all friendly and looking back I can’t believe how I was. I know it’s not an excuse, but I have had a lot (I seem to have had a lot on for over a year now!), and I may have been hasty in some of the decisions I’ve made and I regret that now, I don’t think I gave it a chance, but, as is ever my luck, it seems I’ve realised too late and there’s nothing I can do about it now! The situation has changed and people move on (invariably, to other people). Maybe I’ll learn my lesson, and recognise a good thing when it’s in front of me from now on! 

Anyway, that’s enough for now. See ya Soon XxXxX 

Holidays Are Coming

I’m still here! I know it’s been a while but I’ve been recuperating! I ended up going back to stay with Mum, because, after I tried to be clever and do too much too quickly I got quite ill again. But, we’re home now, and, touching all wood available, I think I’m doing ok! I’m still a little tired and sore but much better all in all! They do say that every cloud has a silver lining and it seems this is no exception… While I’ve been ill, I’ve lost a stone!!! How cool ay? I now fit into clothes that I haven’t fit into for months!! And, it’s not long now til I go to Leeds for the night with Sue and everyone… So I’ve already picked an outfit out! I can’t wait… I want to wear my pink halter-type top and some dark jeans, now I do have some dark jeans that fit me properly now, but I’m thinking I might treat myself to a new pair to celebrate the weight loss! And, that also means, that I have more than achieved the target I set for the holiday! Granted, it may seem I’ve cheated a little, but I had to endure the pain of the operation so you could say I’d earned the weight loss really!!

We go to Majorca tomorrow night… Yay!!! 1 and a half sleeps as Abigail keeps telling (we’re only counting Saturday night as half a sleep cos we’ve got to be gone for 3 am!)!! I’m so excited… I’ve got just about everything we need (I think) I’ve just got to pack it all tomorrow! 

I was counting on a quiet day today, maybe get my feet up on the sofa a while or something, but guess what? The schools closed!! There have been so many kids and staff that have gone off with the sickness bug (Abigail had it last week, it’s horrible trust me, Abigail looked like something from the exorcist, the sick was just pumping out of her) that there aren’t enough teachers to cover all the kids and they have got to disinfect all the classrooms so no more kids get it!! So I now have Abigail & Max at my house! Cos Sue had dropped Max off and gone to work as normal, completely unaware, but fortunately the school hung on to him until I got there to pick him up! But we had a panicky few moments when I couldn’t find him, but alls well that ends well I suppose! They came home and had Hot Chocolate with Squirty Cream on!! Can’t be bad ay? 

I have a funny little story to share with you all… I was absolutely rolling with laughing when Carly told me. Apparently, Drew (my now brother-in-law) works with a polish dude, who they call ‘Mad Mick’… He has taken a dislike to Drew, who is apparently to untidy for ‘Mad Mick’… So during one shift ‘Mad Mick’ had had enough and started shouting at Drew in his broken English. He got the broom out of the cupboard and shouted to Drew “You know what this is?” and Drew started sort of nodding and then Polish ‘Mad Mick’ shouts “It not for Harry Potter F**king fly”.. How funny? Drew said he just laughed in his face, then ‘Mad Mick’ shouts “You understand me no? I speak property good English”!! Like I said, I was rolloing on the floor laughing when Carly told me!! 

I think we’re going down to Sue’s for the traditional Friday night Chinese cos we haven’t had one for ages! I was sort of hoping we’d be going to the club so I could see my ‘Crush’ but I think a quiet night in will be better for me! I did see my ‘crush’ for the first time in a while yesterday, he didn’t see me though, and you’ll never believe what I did… I turned round and doubled back to drive past him again. To give him another chance to see me… he didn’t though! How sad ay? If that doesn’t prove that I have a mega teenage crush I don’t know what will! 

In Liverpool news, they started the season relatively well… But then, Rafa started tinkering as usual and the last two league games they only drew! But, they are still undefeated this season. Then on Tuesday they faced Reading in the Carling Cup and won 4 – 2 with Torres getting his first hat trick!! Yay! Hopfully they’re back on track now and can putting the goals away! 

Anyway folks… I’m off on my hols now, so I’ll catch you all when we’re back!!  

Catch ya Later XxXxX                                                                                                      

Great Weekend/Crazy Waltzer/Poorly Sick

Well, we’re back!! This weekend has been AMAZING!!! We left at just after 4 pm and got to Butlins at about 6.15 ish, we went straight for tea then got ready and went out. It was a great night out and the drinks and everything weren’t anywhere as near as expensive as I’d thought they were going to be, don’t get me wrong, they weren’t exactly cheap, but not over the top extortionate! Saturday morning we all went swimming! Abigail had a fabulous time there, the swimming pool is HUGE, with all sorts of various pools and slides! After that me and Abigail spent the afternoon wandering around, she had her face painted, we had pancakes and milkshakes and just generally had a fabulous afternoon together! We went out with everyone again Saturday night and had another great night. Although, we did go to one of the bars cos there was Queen tribute band on, but it was shit!! Still, the company was good though! Sunday, we went into Skegness for most of the day. Abigail went on the donkeys and then we went on the fair! Abigail had a go on some of the littler rides, like the merry go round and the tea cups which she thoroughly enjoyed!! I (foolishly) decided to go on the Waltzer with Andy, Harry & Max. Andy and Harry went in one car and me and Max went in another. It started off ok and me and Max were laughing our heads off, but then it got soooooo fast I couldn’t lift my head up, I mean seriously, I have never been on a waltzer as fast, Andy said the same! My neck is still killing and I couldn’t move when it stopped!! Mental!! It was still a laugh though! Then, me, Sue, Harry & Max went on the Log Flume! Sue & Max went in one ‘log’ and me & Harry went in another, this went a little better than the Waltzer although, we did get piss wet through! All in all it was a fab day and the weather was Gorgeous, I got sun burned walking around!! We went out again Sunday and had another great night then came back yesterday, got back about 1.30 pm! It was a laugh from start to finish, Andy has been so funny all weekend, and he is literally the funniest person I know!! Here are some pics of Abigail from this weekend….

  <— Abigail on the donkey 

  <– On the merry go round 

 <— On the teacups   

 <—With her face painted 

<—With her Ice Cream (She’s not upset, the sun was in her eyes!) 

I went back to work today, but had to leave at around 11 am cos I was throwing up all morning… Nice huh? I don’t know what it is but I have been in some serious pain this afternoon with my stomach, it’s not too bad now cos the pain killers have kicked in a little. I’ve got an appointment with the GP in the morning, but if the pain comes back like before I think I might have to go to A & E. Sue’s just been round and she thinks it might be my appendix! Scary! I used to suffer with rumbling appendix when I was younger but nothing like the amount of pain I’ve been in this afternoon! I’ll see how I feel later… 

In crush news, it’s still there! I’ve been thinking about him all weekend, but I haven’t seen him for a week or so. Hopefully, if I’m better by Friday, we’ll be going to the club and we’ll see if I can’t get something started!! Lol!!! I

n diet news, I’m doing really well, if I do say so myself!! I’ve lost Half a stone in total which puts me, more than on target for what I want to loose before the holiday! I’ll just have to stick at it. Sue & Me have decided to start Disco Dancing Classes cos that’s a fab form of exercise isn’t it! Here’s hoping anyway!! 

Oh and England remembered that they could actually play football and score goals and won Israel 3 – 0… we may just qualify yet!!! Or have I spoke to soon… guess we’ll see with the match against Russia tomorrow!!

That’s it from me, I’m going cos I think the pain killers might be wearing off and I feel very quesy again…. Oh no!! Catch ya Later XxXxX

PS I’m updating the dream page today too….

Oh no!! Another long one….

Right, I think it’s gonna be another long one! I know it’s been almost a week since I’ve blogged anything, but it’s been hectic!

 Abigail’s birthday went really, really well! She was the Princess for the day and absolutely loved it! She told me when she went to bed, that she’d had a very ‘special day’ so I was very pleased!  She had lots of lovely cards, presents and clothes and a bit of money, so she was extremely happy! And now, she’s a ‘big 5’ she’s being all grown up!  

I collected our portrait pictures on Tuesday, they turned out really well. Everyone is well chuffed with them! It was Definitely worth the money. We’re just waiting for Drew’s dad to get back from holiday so he can copy some of them for us! We’re gonna frame some for Dad for his birthday next week, the ones of me, Carly & Leanne and the grandchildren! 

Thursday morning we got up fairly early and went and collected the dresses from the shop. This went without a hitch fortunately! Carly & me tried ours on and were relieved to discover they still fit! Then the Nail lady came to my house. We had a fabulous girly afternoon, there was me, Carly, Mum, Leanne, Abigail then Drews Mum & sister. The nail lady did a fabulous job, I had the acry-gel nail extensions and absolutely love them (they’re still on now!) and a bargain at £20! Carly’s other bridesmaid, Rachel (who is the girlfriend of Drew’s brother Matt, who was Best Man, are ya keeping up? Confusing isn’t it?) Then came to mine to try her dress on. She stepped in as bridesmaid when Carly sacked the Maid of Honour so hadn’t tried her dress on since it was altered slightly to fit her. She tried it on, and it fit perfectly, but the hook and eye part that holds the zip up was missing so Carly and me had to make an emergency trip back to the dress shop to get that fixed! I decided to pick Abigail a McDonalds up from the drive thru on Ollerton roundabout, take my advice… Don’t go to that one! I was sat in the parking space waiting for a cheeseburger Happy Meal for 15 minutes!! And then, I had to go in and jolly them up, they’d completely forgot about us, and I got really angry! Got myself a free McFlurry in the process though! They couldn’t apologise enough! 

When we got home, we decided that seeing as we fitted nicely in our dresses we’d treat ourselves to a Chinese! So Carly, Drew, Alex and Mum came up to mine! We had a good night then too and the food was gorgeous! Probably tasted even better due to the fact that I’d not had time to eat since my breakfast at 8.30 am and we didn’t sit down to eat the Chinese until 9.00 pm! 

The nail lady came back Friday to finish everyone off and do Carly’s trial for her make-up! I had to pop to Chesterfield with Drew around lunchtime cos he was picking Aunty Josie up from the Train Station at 1.30 pm and Drew wasn’t really sure what she looked like or anything! I went back home and the Nail Lady had finished everyone’s nails (including Abigail’s who had hers painted light pink, like a big girl!) and started Carly’s make-up. She made a fabulous job of that too and I would highly recommend her for the nails and make-up so if anyone wants her name/number let me know!  

Friday night we all went to Mum’s for a girly night with it being the night before the wedding! That went really well, although Sue & me did manage to get in trouble for winding Leanne up (which we weren’t)! Andy popped down after texting us about 100 times but decided against it when he saw how many women there were in the room! Sue & me weren’t late leaving cos I’d got Abigail with me but all in all it was a fab night!  

Then it was the Big Day!! I barely slept all night, it was like Christmas or something! Got up dead early cos we had to go to the Lakeside to trim the room up before going to the hairdressers!! Carly & me were late to the hairdressers cos the room took longer than anticipated but we got there and sorted eventually! Hollie & me were the last ones to leave the hairdressers and by the time we got home it was about 12 pm. The cars were picking us up at 2.30 so we needed to get a crack on really! Mum made us all bacon sandwiches and the make-up/nail lady was there all morning sorting everyone out! Again she was fantastic, made an ace job of the bridesmaids! We all starting getting ready and it was mayhem as you can imagine when there were 9 women, my dad and 3 little girls to get ready! When the limo pulled up the little bridesmaids didn’t even have their dresses on! We sorted it out though and all trooped off to church! Carly looked amazing when she arrived and everyone commented how nice she looked! The ceremony went really well and the only slight hitch was the vicar disappeared off with Carly & Drew and the bridesmaids/best man forgot to go with them to sign the register! I think it was my job to remember but we didn’t rehearse that bit!! Anyway, we weren’t far behind them! 

After the ceremony we all had loads of pictures took outside and the weather held out for us! We then all went to the Lakeside for the reception. We got everyone in and sat down and they decided to do the speeches first as Matt (Best Man) was uber nervous. Dad went first and his speech was ace! He’d obviously put loads of thought into it, and everyone loved it! Drew delivered his speech, which was basically just to thank the bridesmaids, ushers etc. Then it was Matt’s turn, he really struggled bless him, he’s soooo shy its unreal but he managed it and everyone was dead proud of him. He got a bit upset cos he thought he’d let everyone down, so we had a bit of a cuddle and I told him he did really well! 

The only thing that really went wrong was the catering, there was nowhere near enough food for the daytime meal and then the nighttime buffet came and there was next to nothing again! So, in a bizarre turn of events, me, Sue, Aunty Heather and Emma ended up going to Tesco with £70 to get some food! Baring in mind, I had my bridesmaid dress on, you can imagine the reaction we gotrunning around the supermarket! Tesco were excellent with us, and couldn’t help us enough, so big thanks to them for saving the day… Special mention to the General Manager, Nick and the checkout guys Tony & Laura who opened a checkout especially for us! I think I’m going to write a letter to the local paper thanking them and naming & shaming the crap caterer! 

Apart from that, everything went swimmingly… there was a slight family bust up between 2 of our Cousins (one from dad’s side, one from mum’s) which then caused a marital dispute between my mum’s brother and his wife (although I’d guess there were BIG underlying problems there, judging by the kids reactions to the fight! I think, with the amount of alcohol consumed and the lack of food at lunch we were lucky that there were no punches thrown!

My Uncle Frank did collapse absolutely wasted at about 10 pm and had to be carried home and my mum ended up falling over and badly injuring her shoulder (she spent all afternoon in A & E yesterday!) But, apart from them slight hitches all in all it was a fantastic day, and more importantly Carly and Drew were happy so that’s all that matters! I will post some pictures as soon as I get them!

I think that brings us almost up to date… Just got a few other bits to mention… The Football!! How ace was that result?!?! Liverpool won 6 – 0 against Derby, now I know Derby are a shit side anyway, but still 6 – 0 is pretty amazing. Also worth a mention, Chelsea lost 2 – 0 at Aston Villa!! Ha Ha! Baring in mind Liverpool beat them 2 – 1 when they met them!! Liverpool are now top of the table… where they belong, and where they’re going to stay!!

I weighed myself this morning and I’ve lost another 2lb, bringing the grand total to 4lb, which is still on target for the 12lb I want to lose before the holiday (4 weeks)! Yay me!! 

I’m back at work today, joy of joys! But, I’m excited, cos Friday we go to Butlins!!! Woo hoo!!

 I promise to keep things up to date a bit more this week, so hopefully there won’t be anymore HUGE blogs for a while!! If you’ve got this far, thanks for sticking with me!! Catch ya Later XxXxX  

Best get comfy, this is a long one!!

Best get comfy, this is a long one……!! The afternoon of my first day back did improve slightly on the morning. The other new Data Quality Officer, who started after I went off sick, kindly gave me something to do, all be it, mind numbingly boring, but better than sitting there all afternoon and all day Friday twiddling my thumbs! It was nice to see everyone from my old work, I went round both Thursday & Friday to have lunch with them! Another new person has started in the department as well, she’s come in on Application Support and it turns out I know her from when we were young! We didn’t particularly get on though! Despite this she was lovely to me, if a bit ‘over the top’… I think she’s a bit of a kiss ass to be honest but, it’s better than being bitchy and bad feeling between us I suppose! I’ve spoken to my old line manager and she’s more than happy for me to go back there if that’s what I want. She’s suggested we have a chat when we’re all back from Annual Leave, which, should be the week beginning 10^th September. Now, I do think I want to go back, but I want the same money as I’m on in this job, also, I go back to clinic about my hand on 17^th September so I’d like to wait and see what the Dr says then, cos if I do end up having to have it operated on, I don’t wanna go back and then go off sick, plus, when I go back next week, it’ll be my first week with the new line manager and things may be different in my new job then. I think I could like it, if there was more variety to it, so we’ll see. I’ll hold back on the decision making for now I think! I’ve got to give it a fair shot, I mean, I was only there 3 weeks before I hurt my hand, it’s no time to make a decision is it? Hmmm… 

I have had a particularly good/interesting weekend! Friday night after work I popped round to Chelle’s as I had a bit of stuff for her, I then had to go to the cash point and pick some chips up for Abigail’s supper. By the time I got home it was 6.20 pm, bearing in mind, I was meeting Sue at 7 pm to go to the club. So basically, I had 40 minutes, to have a bath, bath Abigail after she’d eaten her supper, get ready, get Abigail’s overnight bag pack, get Abigail to Mum’s so she could sleep there! And, guess what? I managed it!!! I got to Sue’s at 7.03 pm precisely… and then guess what?? Sue wasn’t ready!! She’d not even had a bath, cos she’d had a houseful of folk!! Lol!! She didn’t take long to get ready though and we went round to the club. We had an absolutely blinding night! It was a right laugh. We were well drunk by the time Andy and them came up from the Lakeside. Andy was also well hammered, and kept complimenting me on the, ahem, size of my, ahem, cleavage…! Only then, all his mates joined in… in the end every time I got up for owt, they were all giving my cleavage a round of applause…. How embarrassing ay? Me, Sue, Andy, Andy’s mate and Andy’s brother, then decided at 11.50 pm, we NEEDED a Chinese! So I ring them and see if they’ll still deliver and they agreed. We then proceeded to order just about everything off the menu! Every time the woman started to read the order back to me, someone shouted summat else to add on and then we all went back to Sue & Andy’s for that. When the food came, it was in a HUGE cardboard box, that’s how much we’d ordered. Andy then decided to try and barter with the delivery driver over the price. It came to a total of £27.93 and Andy told him he’d give him £25 and do a dance for him! So Andy did this full on, belly dance type thing, on the doorstep and when he’d done the delivery drive just looked at him and said, ‘That’s £27.93 please’… we were all rolling about laughing in the living room! It’ s probably one of them where you had to be there! Anyway, we ate that and we were all sat in the living room, when Andy’s dad came in… He was proper on one! Lost it big style… there is a LONG story but I’ll shorten it down for you… remember I said Sue’s brother in law and his partner had split up… well his Dad has took this quite hard and doesn’t agree with the fact that both have them have also erm… ‘moved on’ to other people, shall we say?? So he whacking Sue’s sofa with his walking stick! We were all just sat there, gob smacked! Then he went, next thing we knew, he’d chucked all Jamie’s stuff out on the street!! All Jamie’s sons old pram and everything, so at 1.30 am we’re dragging stuff in off the street!! It was unbelievable! It was an amazing night, we’ll never forget in, that’s for sure!! I went home at about 2.30 am! I was knackered all day Saturday!! 

Then, Saturday night, was not so good. We had another ‘Family Barbecue’ to go to. The last one was fine, and a lot better than we expected it to be! However, this was not the case Saturday night! We got there and both my Mum’s brothers were in a horrible mood. Uncle John (Sue’s Dad) was screaming at Max for something he hadn’t even done. So that obviously but Sue’s back up. Then Uncle Frank decided to sit next me and started calling my Dad! How fucking rude and disrespectful ay?? I sat there listening to him and thought to myself, if I say summat here, I’m gonna fly, and I knew that if I went, Sue & Carly wouldn’t be far behind. So I sat there, basically, letting him rip my Dad to shreds!! I’m absolutely livid about it. The only reason I didn’t say anything, was because it would mean there’d be bad feeling at the wedding next week and I didn’t want that for Carly, and also, I know that once I’d let it all out, I’d never speak to them again, including my mum probably cos she was on as well! How dare they… when Mum left Dad, she did it while he was away with my Uncle Frank for the weekend, he basically had no idea, came back on the Monday to find his wife, kids and most of the furniture gone from his home? You’d be a bit indignant wouldn’t ya?? But no, they’re not the ones in the wrong…. My dad is!! Righto!! I was talking to Carly yesterday and she’s as mad as I am about it, I said to her, I’d bite my tongue if they start next week cos of the wedding, and obviously Dad and them have got to be in the same room.  But, Carly said she won’t be biting her tongue if they start, so all hell could break loose, cos Dad’s family will be there as well obviously!! But even if nothing comes out at the wedding, I’ll be having my piece with them, I’m not having it!!! He’s my Dad at the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their opinion and I’m not asking them to like him, but don’t sit there calling him in front of me… That’s just bang out of order!! 

Yesterday was good though, Carly, Drew & Alex came round for their tea and then Emma, Lee, Jack & Kayla came up. It was lovely we all sat in my house til about 10 pm chatting and the kids were playing! As always it was a proper laugh, and even Drew came out of his shell a bit! He’s getting a lot more chatty with the family now, it’s only took nearly 5 years for him to get used to us! Lol!! Me & Carly have decided we’d be better off concentrating on Dad’s side of the family more (apart from our Sue obviously) cos they’re actually nice!! So I think that’s what we’re gonna do! 

This week is obviously gonna be a busy one. Tomorrow, I’m going to Chesterfield to pick the photo’s up from the portrait place, gotta get Abigail a Birthday Cake and Chelle’s coming up in the afternoon! Wednesday is Abigail’s birthday, then Thursday and Friday the nail woman is coming most of the day and we’ve also got to pick the bridesmaid dresses on Thursday!! Phew, I’m getting tired just thinking about it! 

In good news though, Liverpool won 2 – 0 away at Sunderland on Saturday!! Torres was amazing how he ran through the defenders!! And Voronin scored a blinder… and Momo Sissoko scored his first Liverpool goal as well, which was also the Club’s 7000^th League Goal! So he’ll be in the history books now! That’s 2 away wins this season already!! We hadn’t won away from home by xmas last season!! Great start I think you’ll agree! 

Oooh, by the way, lost 2 lb this week!! So still on course!! Yay!! 

Better leave it that…. Boy, that was Looooong!!! See ya Soon XxXxX

Let the Diet (and excercise) Commence!!

I’m pleased to report I am feeling slightly brighter about things now! I think the fact that I’ve had quite a bit to do is part of the reason, and also, I’m rather looking forward to getting back into the routine of work and everything. I started the dieting and exercise in a big way yesterday (I can’t promise how long it will last for, but I might as well go for it while I’m in the mood!) I’ve cut out all the crap that I’ve been snacking on while I’ve been at home, started drinking 2 litres of water a day again and started doing some exercise, which I think is the most important thing! I’ve been going on the strider exercise machine at Dad’s for between 10 – 20 minutes a day, as well as at least 5 minutes of constant skipping (!) and using this tummy crunch jobby that I’ve got. I have to say, I think that’s helped to improve my mood as well!! I’m hoping to lose at least 12 lbs by the time we go away (6 weeks), which, at 2 lb a week is quite achievable I think! Fingers crossed anyway… I’m thinking of adding a page chronicling my attempts, what do ya think? It might spur me on in the times when I can’t be arsed to exercise and am craving a chocolate bar or summat!! 

We all went back to Photo place on Saturday to pick the pictures! I’m really pleased with how they turned out actually. We had the ‘Full Set’ package which consists of 8 10 x 8” pictures and 8 7 x 5” pictures. So we’ve had a full range. Some of all of us together, some of just me, Carly & Leanne, some of Mum with me, Carly & Leanne, some of mum with Abigail & Alex, some single ones of Alex and Abigail, one with Abigail and Alex sat together, some of me & Abigail, and some of Carly, Drew & Alex. Drew’s dad is quite clever with photography as well, he’s got all the software for the computer at home so he’s going to copy some of them so I can have some, Carly can, and we’re going to get some framed for Dad for his birthday (shh! Though cos I think that might be illegal!!) I’m going to collect them next Tuesday, and I have to say I’m rather looking forward to seeing the actual pictures, instead of just on the computer screen! Mum was well impressed with them as well, which is good, seeing as it was for her birthday and all!! 

Pfft…. I don’t even want to talk about the travesty of the Liverpool v Chelsea match! Fernando Torres scored on his Anfield debut, a blinding goal it was too! Excellent start! But then, the mardy gits that Chelsea are, they have to start cheating in order to get anywhere! Every time the slightest thing happened they surrounded the ref appealing for this and for that! Then Agger and Malouda had, what can’t even be described as a collision, Malouda was clearly diving before Agger was anywhere near him, and amazingly the ref gave a penalty!!! Cheating Scum! Only two people in the entire stadium thought it was a penalty, the (blind) ref and bloody Mourinho, who incidently claim his team are ‘pure’ and ‘naïve’ – yeah righto!! As Rafa said “If that’s the case then I’m Little Red Riding Hood!”, TOO BLOODY RIGHT!! So it ended in a 1 -1 draw! The ref has since admitted that it was never a penalty… and he won’t be officiating any match this weekend!! He said his decisions ‘may have’ affected the result!! that’s all very well, but still robbed us of the points didn’t it?? He said his decision ‘may have’ affected the result!! May Have?? I think it bloody well did!!! Grr!!

 <—— How beautiful is he?? Mmmmm…. (drool) 

We went for the Wedding Rehearsal yesterday, after a farce, whereby the vicar didn’t turn up, it did go quite well! It transpires that the vicar thought the rehearsal was at 7 pm, we thought it was at 3 pm (not much difference ay?) so me & Carly had to go to Langwith and track down another vicar who is the Team Rector or summat! We all know more or less what we’re doing on the day now and the kids were reasonably well behaved! Leanne practiced her reading and did really well so all is going well!! I’ve been to the hospital today for my Nerve Conduction Test. It was a little odd having the electric current through my arm (its still tingling now!), but it wasn’t too bad! I can’t get in at clinic until 17^th September, so got a bit of a wait, but at least I can get on with life for a little bit, and get back to normality! And, if Surgery is the next option, it won’t be til after the wedding!! 

That’s about it I think! I’m off to the Dentist this afternoon, We’re going over to see Chelle tomorrow morning cos she’s still not well bless her, she’s not really having an easy time with the pregnancy at all! Hope you’re feeling better soon mate!! Then back to work on Thursday!! 

Catch ya Later XxXxX